Jean's Site

If yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.  Cna yuo raed tihs?  Olny 55 plopee otu of 100 cna.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mni d deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

A relative emailed this to me, and I want to be able to keep this so I can read it again and be bless.  Hoping you will be bless too.

Aug 17,2003


Six months ago, my family was preparing for my funeral, but I stand here before you today by God's grace because He still has a purpose for my life.

Let me share with you my story..

In April, l99l, I began to host Eat Bulaga!, a noontime show that brought me fame beyond my wildest dreams. I earned good money while I made people laugh. What a blessing!

October of l993, I met Charlie. Single and good-looking, this guy has a terrific sense of humor,
a man with a big heart. "Kung sa beauty contestant, beauty and brains." At a certain point in our relationship, we both knew God brought us to be together...for life.

In August, l994, we were married. After four wonderful years of marriage, God blessed us with two children, Claudia and Jaime. Thirteen years earlier, I was blessed with a son, Ali, from a previous relationship.

May of l998, Charlie became Congressman and I became Vice Mayor of Pontevedra ( Negros Occidental). November of the same year, during a routine check-up, they discovered some abnormalities in my stomach area which, the doctors said, could be solved by a minor procedure.

A few days later, my supposedly one-hour surgery turned out to be a six-hour-and- a-half surgery. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer..

Cancer?

No one had cancer in the family. My life flashed before me. My world suddenly caved in. The doctors were quite frank. They told us that I had only a couple of months to live. Stage 4 cancer is like a death sentence.

As my doctor was speaking, I didn't understand a word he said because all I could think of was Charlie, my children, my family, my in-laws, would whisper, Lord, help me...help them, Lord!

They're all suffering. I don't know how to comfort them. The day before my first chemotherapy, I said, Lord, just tell me you're in control. Tell me that no one made a mistake and I'll be fine no matter what, Lord. Somebody gave me a devotional book entitled Streams in the Desert which I read at 3 o'clock in the morning. It said, "this is my doing. Your weakness needs my strength and your safety lies in letting me fight for you. You did not come to this
place by accident. You are exactly where I meant you to be. You were so busy that I could not get your attention and I wanted to teach you some of my greatest truths. The pain will leave you as soon as you learn to see me; in all things". These words became the pillow on which I rested my weary head.

I surrendered to God all my fears, all my burdens and my family as I began my journey of trials. I focused on His promises as Jesus said, Surely I am with you always.

By God's gracious mercy and beyond all medical explanation, after six months of chemotherapy went on remission. Eight months later, the cancer was back. More surgery, more chemo. And then again, God allowed healing for me. The best lesson I am learning from
this is how God allows us to enjoy life with His moment by moment of grace. My third bout with cancer entailed three different chemotherapies infused at the same time. The Lord allowed me to learn to NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP...PUT YOUR HOPE IN GOD.

Three times, I was at the threshold of death. Medicines and state-of-the-art treatments were
not working anymore. Not all the money in the world nor the best doctors on earth can make us live if God doesn't want us to. During those times, God comforted my heart with these verses: Why are you downcast o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in
God for I will yet praise Him my Savior and my Lord.

But let me tell you about my latest brush with death. After spending Christmas with my family here in Manila, I left for San Francisco in January of 2003 for my check-up. I knew there was something terribly wrong with my body. I had sleepless nights; I was steadily losing weight; I couldn't eat anything.

By the time I had completed all my tests, I was only 96 pounds. My doctor said, the cancer has spread. You need to be confined in the hospital. Your food passage is completely blocked by the cancer. I don't know how much time you have. Not much. Maybe a month. But I
promise you will not feel the pain.I hugged Dr. Fisher and thanked him. I told him, don't be sad. I know God is in full control of my life.

I went home that night to make some arrangements and my daughter was fast asleep. I knelt down by her bedside and I cried, Mama loves you so much that it hurts. Lord, you know how much I love my Ali, my Claudia and my Jaime. You gave them to Charlie and me and I thank you. I know in my heart that Charlie will love them and watch over them. Lord, take care of my husband because I love him very much. But much more than this, it comforts me to know that I could never love them as much as you love them. I thank you, Father God.

Charlie remained by my bedside day and night, caressing me, talking to me. It pains me to think how much our husbands or wives suffer the fear of losing us. How blessed I am to know how much my family and friends love me.

The Lord allowed me to experience deep, deep, sleep. I have never ever felt that kind of peace, peace that surpasses all understanding. Dr. Fisher explained to Charlie that my nourishment would come from a bag of liquid attached to me, which has to be administered
on a daily basis for life. I would never be able to eat or drink again.

Surgery was ruled out, so was radiation. As a last recourse, it was suggested that I do the mildest chemo but if I so much as cough, he would remove it and just keep me comfortable. I was in awe when I was told how many people were praying for me. By God's sovereign mercy, I never coughed.. One month later, my cancer level went down by half. I am now only a few
points away from being on remission.

And as if this weren't enough, God's incredible bonus is that I am back to my full diet. I can eat and drink anything now! Once again, the doctors were amazed. Yes, isn't our God amazing? God spared my life when Stanford doctors had given up on me.

In my heart, I knew why. God allowed this miracle in my life to show us how gracious He is and what a powerful weapon prayer can be. And that God can perform miracles in our lives, if you let Him. I will never fully understand God's ways but I do know that God has a purpose for each of us. When God calls you to live for Him, He will invite you to be a part of something much bigger than yourself, something that requires the very best of you, something that
may outlive you. When God calls us to a powerful vision, it may transcend safety and it may transcend common sense because it is all about Jesus Christ. Without Jesus, we will not make it!

Do we know, do you know, what God wants you to do with your life? If you are uncertain of God's will for your life, surrender all your plans to Jesus because God's plans for us are perfect.

The cancer in my body, I did not choose. But in God's sovereignty, He allowed this affliction in my life. But I ask you, what is the cancer in your life?

Is it the cancer of unforgiveness, jealousy, lust, anger or bitterness that you are holding on to?
What are the wrong choices you continue to make because they give you temporary pleasure but can permanently destroy you - your husband or your wife or your children or your circle of influence?

If you are going through a time of terrifying darkness and despair, or are plagued by doubts that are slowly eroding your hope that things can get better, I urge you to surrender it all to God; give Him full control of your life. It is the only way to live.

Lord, forgive me for all my sins. Jesus, come into my heart; be my Lord and my Savior. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

I got hold of this book, Next Door Savior by Max Lucado, everything in this book is about Jesus and how the people surrounding him reacts to him.  Sometimes as I read I would also run to my mind and imagine the scene that was written in the book.  I really had a good laugh imagining Jesus spitting saliva on the ground to form a mud that he applied in the eyes of the blind man.

This book made me aware about the God-Man Jesus, it made me understand more that Jesus really knows what I feel and the pain that I go through as I live my daily life.  He is not far, he is here in my life, concern all the time, I sometimes makes him sad because of my stubbornness and disobedience.  But when I repent, he simply forgives me and encourages  me to move forward and expect his grace to abound as I rebuild what was temporarily destroyed by some of my wrong decisions.

I'm thankful that Jesus came down from heaven and took the cross for the salvation of all mankind who would accept and follow him. I'm still here purely because of Jesus' love.

I will continue to read this book and use the discussion guide.  I discuss what I read with myself and ask the Holy Spirit for more insights.  Being a christian is so exciting, knowing Jesus more is my life's quest.  I hope as you read this blog it will be your quest too.

On Tuesday July 1, 2008 at around 8:45 a.m. my friend and sister in Christ Beth went to be with the Lord.  Tears flowed and sadness is in all of us as we look on.  Holding the hands of Ate Beth for the last tme really made an impact on me, I suddenly realized this will be the last time I will be holding her hands or see her physical body.

Her mother was there crying and embracing her, bidding her goodbye, saying that now Beth can rest and truly live.

I remember her saying that  years ago when she had a problem in her Nasopharyngal, she underwent treatment.  During that time she prayed and asked God  to extend her life because she was still supporting her youngest sister who was still studying, who eventually became  a doctor.  Jokingly, she told me, that she may have been mistaken for just asking for 10 years, she should had asked God for  more years.  Anyway, I told her, God knows what He is allowing in her life and that everything will still work out for good.

Many times in our conversations, we would talk about death and always remind ourselves why we should not be afraid of death.  One truth that we got from the word of God is that only faith in God can help us understand how not to be afraid of dying.

Ate Beth is not afraid of dying, she fought death not because of fear but because of love.  She told me that she wants to continue to live so she can be a blessing to her family.  She wants to live a long life so she can be part of a spiritual family in advancing the kingdom of God here in Sorsogon.  I remember Beth encouraging sick people about the goodness and faithfulness of God.  How she continues to pray for the problems and needs of other people.  There were several instances when one would visit Beth at home. she ends up encouraging her visitor instead of them comforting her.

Today as I write this blog, Ate Beth is on her 4th day in the presence of our heavenly Father, Wow, what an amazing reality, she is now gone from this world and present in heaven.  There is no more sadness in my heart but thankfulness, Ate Beth has become an inspiration to me, her death made me realized that my life here is really temporary, my place is in my Father's house.  As I wait for my turn, I will continue to live out my destiny by God's grace.  

Just recently I assisted my 8 year old daughter to have her own multiply site.  For those of you who would like to see just go to this link.

http://jeanellelopez.multiply.com/journal/item/1/Two_Birdies_...by_Jeanelle_July_1_2008

This is my friend and sister in Christ Beth. This picture was taken last April 10, she has been diagnosed as having liver cancer.  She was declared stage 4 around 18 months ago.  She has already gone to 6 cycles of Chemotheraphy.  She also tried to go on a full vegetarian diet, but because of her big stomach she could not eat too much of the much needed nutrients that can be found in fruits and vegetables.

Anyway her latest blood pressure is 80/50 which is considered very guarded.  But when I talked and watch her eat lugaw and the soup I brought to her, dying is the farthest thing in her mind.  She is still fighting and hope is very much alive in her.

She knows it is not the sickness which will end her life, but when God says its time to go home then she is ready to go, but for the mean time she believes she can still be healed.

Our friend Caysing Tan, would send me messages through text, encouraging me to command healing as the word of God says.  To continue to believe and not to waver in the faith that we have in the Lord regarding our situations. 

God is in full control, while we are alive or even if we die.  I will continue to praise the Lord knowing full well that the God I serve knows all the answers to my "why", "when", "where", "what" and "how".

What is next with my friend Beth?  God will do something according to his plan and purposes.  I will continue to extend the love, care and concern of the Lord Jesus to Ate Beth, God is glorified either way.

From the first part of this blog, I can conclude that we, who accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior are now a church, a spiritual family.

Results of belonging to a spiritual family:

·       The believer is encouraged and grows in Christ

Romans 1:11-12 - I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.

One reason, I love our church here in Sorsogon, the presence of our brethren is already a great encouragement and joy.  The atmosphere is always encouragement, praying for one another and acceptance.   There maybe corrections at times but, reconciliation always follows and I can feel God’s love through them.  Our small gathering is not religious but significant and relevant in our daily victories and struggles.

·       Sharing and Walking in the Light

1 John 1:6-7 - If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

As we fellowship with God and with our spiritual family, together we walk in the light, in truth, in Jesus’ sacrifice and victory, we learn together as we discuss God’s principles in our small and outreach groups.  Our lives become connected and accountability becomes part of our daily walk.  People will know we are Jesus’ Disciples if we love one another, and I know that loving one another is evident in our small groups.

·       A genuine interest in other’s well-being

Philippians 2:3-4 - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Human will always look out for his own self-interest and security, but as the Lord change us, we learn to be a giver and not a taker.  Our time is not only for us or for our family, a portion of our time inspires us to share it to other people.  We become more compassionate, forgiving, gracious, understanding and appreciating the different circumstances that happens to people around us.  The Holy Spirit enables us to move in His power as we speak life and favor to others and as we lay our hands to the sick healing can happen and the sick recovers.

·       Opportunity to Serve God

Acts 2:42 - They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

As we continue to listen, study and meditate the word of God, we become so full of God’s purpose and will, and we start to move in the direction where God leads us.  We mentor others as we receive mentoring from our disciplers.  We create a cycle of unending discipleship with only one ultimate purpose to bring all of us closer to God.  We begin to understand who God is, what He can do, His power, His anointing, His heartbeat, His character, the way he deals with us and the experiences He allows us to undergo.  We become aware that every person God allows to become part of our life are the very heart of God’s mission – to reach out lost souls, reconcile people to Himself.

 1Peter 2: 9-10 - But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.   Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

This is what I heard and learned in our Sunday service which was clearly shared by Pastor Al Bantayan.

This is what the bible described as a true church…

• A chosen people – it is God who had chosen each one of us to be here in our local church to be part of God’s purpose in the body of Christ.
• A royal priesthood – we have a function as a believer, we are to stand in gap between God and the people who are still searching for God, who can honestly admit that they are sinners and that they need to receive the forgiveness and salvation that comes from believing in what Jesus had done on the cross for all of us.  We are of royal blood, the blood of Jesus Christ that was shed on the cross of Calvary.
• A Holy Nation – each of us represents a nation, a culture, a family, which God can fit into His Masterplan of lives for His children.   We are to reach the nations from the uttermost part of the world.
• A people belonging to God – we are in God’s camp, our lives is not for our own good or purpose, it will not about us and what we want, but it will about God and what He wants for us. 

Isaiah 54:13 All your sons will be taught by the LORD,
       and great will be your children's peace.

John 6:37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."

John 6:44 "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day. 45It is written in the Prophets: 'They will all be taught by God. Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me.

Romans 10: 16 But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, "Lord, who has believed our message?" 17Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. 18But I ask: Did they not hear? Of course they did:
   "Their voice has gone out into all the earth,
      their words to the ends of the world.

As I meditate on the scriptures above and asked for the understanding from the Holy Spirit, these are the things that were laid down in my heart.

·         That it was my Father in heaven who made a way for me to be drawn closer to His son Jesus.

I remember during my teen years, I got the habit of watching Pat Robertson in 700 Club; I was so touched by all the testimonies that was presented and mostly about how God touched their lives.  I did not understand what was going on, but in every occasion I was able to watch I prayed the sinner’s prayer, I shed tears as I surrendered my life to the Lord. I heard but I did not understand what will be the next step after receiving Jesus in my heart.  I did not know what church I was to be looking for; the only church I know was the Catholic Church which bored me to death.

·         The message is the very words of Jesus: John 3:16, John 6:35, the parables about the Kingdom of God, the miracles Jesus performed and many more found in the bible.

Now that I am saved, God placed in my heart to do his will, to do His work, and the work of God that He wants me to do is to share what was freely given and shared to me.  I know that whatever WORD of God I shared, it will be our Father in heaven who will draw those who listen to Jesus.  Everyday, I have to be aware that God always present an opportunity for me to share God’s love to others, to the people that are already in my sphere of influence, this is my harvest field.

·         Blessed Assurance

Now that I have been given to Jesus, the will of the Father for me is that Jesus will not lose me.  I remember a parable about the lost sheep, where the shepherd left the other sheeps to look for the one that was lost.  I thank God for our spiritual family where caring, concern and love are evident.  As part of the body of Christ, each one us has a role to play as the Lord leads us, to be an instrument of God so that all of us stay drawn to Jesus all the time.  We function according to the need of the body, according to the calling that was given by God to us and together we move forward to the very purposes of God for us and we will find out later the masterpiece of God’s work in all of His children.

In John 6, Jesus said He is the bread of life that comes from the Father in heaven, and whoever comes to Him will never be hungry and will never be thirsty.  As I read on, many of those who were following and listening to him, were so puzzled and could not understand what Jesus was saying during that time.  Some of them said that the word of Jesus is “hard teaching” and they had an excuse that the teaching is so hard to be understood by anybody.

I remember hearing that the bible should be read with faith and not only intellectually. I continued to read and meditate on the very words of Jesus.  Why hungry and thirsty? I looked up some words that could be related to hungry and thirsty.  Hungry – starving, keen, ambitious, greedy; Thirsty – dehydrated, craving, yearning. Hungry and Thirsty for what?   I asked the Holy Spirit for the answer to this question.

Hungry and thirsty for what this world is offering, this is the answer that came now to my heart.  Everyday I am so beset by my circumstances, problems and situations resulting from sin, wrong decisions, from wrong decisions of other people, broken promises and the attack from our enemy, for one purpose only, that is to put doubt on the faith I have in God.

Thank you my Father, now I can refocus my gaze to Jesus, the promises He already gave, that He is the bread of Life, and in Jesus, I have a blessed hope, I am favored and God is with me in every incident of my life.

 “But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”- Jeremiah 17:7-8